I am afraid to be known.

I’m so tired of things telling me to be things.

Signs telling me to follow signs.

I wonder why

they do so so easily.

I wonder why I can't.

I wonder why it scrapes at my brain to hear

a cacophony of normal voices.

I wonder why they don't drown out

the non-normal one.

I think sometimes it hurts to live.

I think sometimes it hurts everyone to live.

I think sometimes I'm lonely because there's too many

people

I can't unleash the tides upon.

I think sometimes I'm lonely because

I can't let myself go.

Pride myself to not care,

but in the end I care enough not to go

berserk.

And scare them.

I have an ugly thing and I don't want to scare them.

Yet I know they will understand.

They will smooth its ugly hair

and kiss its ugly head

and soothe its ugly tears

and listen to its ugly voice.

I think it scares me

to be

completely

figured out.

You Exist

Hello,

from a leap of ten.

I say your name

I look you square

I tell you now

keep still

I am here

Instead.

I will restore you.

Your innocence

is not lost on me.

I am not ashamed

of you.

I hold you

like a treasure

like an orange leaf

with no tears.

I hold you like a child

lost.

I will cease your tears

I know them well.

I will

make you whole

for once.

I,

King of not feeling so good.

apologise.

But you exist

and now I.

Keep faith

I will make you whole

for once.