I am afraid to be known.

I’m so tired of things telling me to be things.

Signs telling me to follow signs.

I wonder why

they do so so easily.

I wonder why I can't.

I wonder why it scrapes at my brain to hear

a cacophony of normal voices.

I wonder why they don't drown out

the non-normal one.

I think sometimes it hurts to live.

I think sometimes it hurts everyone to live.

I think sometimes I'm lonely because there's too many

people

I can't unleash the tides upon.

I think sometimes I'm lonely because

I can't let myself go.

Pride myself to not care,

but in the end I care enough not to go

berserk.

And scare them.

I have an ugly thing and I don't want to scare them.

Yet I know they will understand.

They will smooth its ugly hair

and kiss its ugly head

and soothe its ugly tears

and listen to its ugly voice.

I think it scares me

to be

completely

figured out.